May 15, 2009

Random again . . .

Okay, so we're into day 2 on the non dairy week. And I don't think I'm going to lose any weight. I had pro biotic blueberry soy milk and 2 vegan chocolate chip oatmeal cookies for breakfast. This is hard.

And the Dr. said I would probably see a difference in 2 days, and well, right now we are 4 hours short of that, and I'm not seeing any changes. I guess I'll just have to wait it out.


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Thanks for all of your answers to my questions. I've been wondering about the strike through thing for a long time now. And the site meter. Although I'm not totally positive that I want one. I'm kind of nervous that it would be a blow to my pride because while I hope that I have lots of wonderful people out there reading my blog, I'm afraid I would get it and there would only be like 6 hits a day. So we'll see if I can't bring myself to do it. . .

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One thing that I have thought about doing is free advertising. I am in love with local and homemade. Sadly, I cannot afford them. So I was thinking about offering a few spots on my blog to get the word out on some homemade businesses or etsy shops. That way, I feel like I am supporting the homemade and local movement, even though I can't afford to buy anything . . . what do you think?

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Do you ever feel the weight of expectations? Meaning, your children expect you to be a good mother, your husband expects you to be a good wife, your parents expect you to be a good daughter and so on and so on. And then you have certain expectations of yourself in all of those categories. Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in expectations and I just can't meet any of them. I feel like a failure because I can't keep my house at least decent. I feel like a failure because I can't get dinner on the table every night. I used to be really good at making sure that my children had one veggie and one fruit at dinner and lunch. Now they are lucky if they get one. I used to be able to make dinner every single night, now we are lucky if it happens 3 times a week. The rest of the week we eat leftovers, hot dogs, or order pizza. I can't get all the laundry put away before I need to wash it again. I'm constantly tired for no real reason. Even on the days that the baby has slept through the night. I feel like I'm fighting with every muscle to keep my head above water and even then I can barely catch my breath.

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Our TV is dying a slow death. I don't want to buy a new one. But I think that we will have to. The king (i.e. our 2 year old) may die without his shows. I hate that he is addicted to TV. My only consolation is that he likes to play outside more. Thank goodness it's summer.

16 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I can understand the reluctance to get a Sitemeter. I actually really like it.

hippyrochelle said...

I know what your talking about with the whole expectations stuff. I feel the same way. I think it definately gets harder to keep up the more kids you have. I wish I could make dinner every night, keep the house clean and especially keep up on the laundry, but it probably wont happen till my kids hit their teens!

Debbie said...

That expectation stuff totally hits valleys and peaks for me. I finally got to a point where I felt like was drowning too (just this week) so I called my mom and she agreed to take all my children over night so I could dejunk my house. Because I feel like MY problem is I can't do anything with all this crap around. I just hope it works. :)

Good luck with the non dairy stuff!

Heidi Ashworth said...

I love my sitemeter BUT it has been crazy making at times. I used to pour over every bit of data for huge periods of time but I don't anymore. I do appreciate knowing certain things though now that I am over most of the obsession. I think free advertising for homemade items is a great idea! It will be another reason for people to come to your blog. I wouldn't bother with blogher ads right now--I have had ads in my blog since October and have only received one check---it was nice--more than a nickle, that's for sure, but for some reason I haven't hit that level since. Not sure what that was all about . . .

wonder woman said...

I don't think your site meter will be as depressing as you think. I like the live traffic feed because it's fun to see where people come from. And there's no time or numbers, so you don't feel as lame. Ü

I'm with you on the expectations thing. I think you just need to remember that right now, you're doing good if you aren't beating your children. Ü Seriously. You have four very young children. The only way to get everything under control is to take speed or something. And it WON'T be like this forever. Soon enough, you'll have two kids in school all day. Only TWO kids making messes instead of four! And then before you know it, they'll all be in school. Sure, you'll still be busy, but it won't be the burgeoning mania you experience now.

There aren't as many expectations as you think. Your husband is forgiving. Your children are forgiving. Your parents are forgiving. They all just want you happy. You need to remember to forgive yourself and know that it's okay to not be perfect! Or close! Just try to be a little better.

{{hugs}}

p.s. my boys are addicted to the TV, too. But also addicted to the outside. I'm seriously right there with you!

Linds said...

Hang in there Rachel. I think it is you that has too high of expectations for yourself. You can only do so much. Take care of yourself.

pan x 8 said...

Rachel, thanks so much on the tip, totally worked and made sense!

I feel you on the expectation thing. Most days you just can't help it! So I feel that at the end of the day when I am feeling like the biggest failure, I give myself a hug and say, "Self you were the BEST failure today!" I know.. a little weird-crazy but sometimes a smile at the end of the day feels a whole lot better than the beating I give myself!

Melissa Bastow said...

The expectations paragraph - I hear you. (And don't let the tv die!!!!!!!)

heather said...

Milk/ dairy products don't do very well in my body. And the few times I've tried soy I had problems with that too -I use rice milk for everything where I'd use regular milk if I was a regular person, and I really like it. Almond milk is really good too -only a lot more pricey.

The t.v. news is heartbreaking. :(

Discouragement is a tool of the devil. You're doing great! So don't be too hard on yourself.

Carolyn said...

Do what you can and forget the rest. I started feeling much better about myself when I stopped comparing my house/dinner/kids to others.

I know it sounds corny but count your blessings and focus on the good stuff. This may just not be your season for a clean house. (It sure isn't mine!)

SO said...

I am right there with you on not feeling like I'm living up to being the mom/wife I can be. Most day's I'm doing good to get the dishes done and my bed made.

I think that is neat that you would be willing to help out local crafters. very cool.

Melinda said...

You know, I don't get myself. After my son was born I was so on top of everything, I cleaned, I blogged, I hung out with friends, everything I wanted to do. But as the months went on I got lazier and lazier. And now I have zero energy to do anything (you would think it would've had less energy with a newborn right?), and I just can't get into the swing of it all. I hate that. :(

Melinda said...

Hey you have three columns! What are you talking about?! Well, here's where I got the information for mine: if you go to: thecutestblogontheblock.com, on the left sidebar there's a spot that says 'blog secrets', click on that and like the fourth one down tells you how to do a 3 column template. Hope that helps!

ABrunettesLife said...

I swear I could have written the expectations part of this post. Everything that I think, you put into words, so you're definitely not alone. One thing I've found works awesome for my family is buying the large veggie trays from Sam's Club. I just plop the tray on the table during lunch and dinner and it lasts all week. The kids like it because they can choose their veggie and I like it because there is no work involved for me. I feel like its $8 well spent.

wendy said...

Who sets the laws.rules for expectations. Set your own and make them realistic for you. I hate the pressures we put on ourselves cause we try to live up to OTHERS. OTHERS are not YOUR Rachel, live you life the kind that makes you happy. Your family will thank you for it. You don't have to live up to anything

pan x 8 said...

Hey girl, I'm back! I gave you an award! You can grab it on my blog! Yahoo!!

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