October 6, 2009

Tuesday Confessional

I didn't know the last time would be the last time.

I stopped nursing my baby last night.   We have been weaning for about a month, a little bit at a time.  The baby decided that last night would be the last time.

How did he decide?

He bit me instead of eating.  Twice.

And he was done.

Part of me feels like rejoicing. Pulling out the normal bras feels like a celebration.

But another part of me is mourning a little bit. My baby is almost one year old.  And he isn't a baby anymore.  And a little part of my heart is breaking.



14 comments:

Emmy said...

I so remember this. Lucas was about 14 months old, I had weaned except for an occasional before bed feeding. I tried to nurse him and he pulled off and yelled, no Milk! He wanted milk in his sippy cup and that was the end.

Momza said...

ohhh Rachel. We've all been in that moment. The emotions run deep in both directions--towards independence & freedom
and away from interdependence and intimacy. Hang in there! Go buy a really pretty bra and tell hubby he's got his wife back!

Rochelle said...

aaaawwwweeee. Its always hard.

blueviolet said...

It really is a tough changeover. I agree. The bites make it a little easier though. Man, that hurts!

That Girl said...

My second bit me so hard I BLED.

I didn't really mourn that weaning.

Bobbi said...

I know!!! We look so forward to the "firsts", but never think of the "lasts" until they have come and gone.

Chief said...

I was never able to breastfeed but I can imagine that it is a struggle to transition away from. Good luck!

Lourie said...

I enjoyed it while it lasted, but mostly I was thrilled because finally my body was once again MINE. Haha. But I do understand that feeling. I am sure he is not through with being cuddled yet. Is he?

Carolyn said...

That is so hard. It's even tougher when it's the last time with the last baby and you know you'll never do it again.

Life. Mothers are closer to it than anyone else.

Emma said...

Enjoy, don't be sad!!

Melissa Bastow said...

I don't understand mourning the nursing (although I was never bitten- late teathers, but still not in love with nursing), but I really get the whole baby growing up thing. My youngest is 16 months now, walking, feeding herself with an actual spoon, throwing attitude tantrums, and I'm thinking, "What happened? yesterday you were a baby, and now you're....THIS!"

Loralee and the gang... said...

I know just how you feel... ouch! and awwwww, so sad.
:~D

Emily is a good frau said...

That's how it was with Charlie, too. I would have probably allowed him to nurse as long as he wanted, but the biting was too bad so we had to stop at about 13 months. I was sad, but he weaned really easily.

Sell...Party Of 3 said...

MY BIGGEST FEAR OF NURSING. I would totally be done.

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